Guidelines to Living with the Titans
by The Indigo Raven2002
Summary: These are the rules in Titans Tower. Ideas are welcomed.
1. 1-10

**These are the rules of Titans Tower, with Kid Flash commentating on each of them. If you have any ideas, put them in the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. If I did, there would be a sixth season.**

* * *

#1: If you're going to eat chips, pick up after yourself.

_(I was hungry and tired.)_

#2: You may not perform the list of 37 things to do in an elevator. It's not funny, it's annoying.

_(It was so very worth it. I knew Rob still had that trolling charm.)_

#3: Never give Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, or Kid Flash sugar. Ever.

_(Again, totally worth it.)_

#4: Lion King is not allowed in the Tower.

_(This is so totally not my fault.)_

#5: If Robin is already mad, do not make him angrier.

_(I tried to warn them.)_

#6: If you're going to play games with Robin, deal with the fact that he wins all the time.

_(I still think he cheats.)_

#7: Don't play matchmaker with BB and Raven.

_(It needs to happen sooner.)_

#8: Robin and Kid Flash are no longer allowed to try and fix plumbing.

_(I'm not the one who broke the pipe.)_

#9: Don't sing 'Song That Never Ends'.

_(I didn't know he hated that song.)_

#10: Don't mention circuses around Robin.

_(I had nothing to do with this.)_

* * *

**What did you think? Ideas are welcome. R&amp;R.**


	2. 11-16

Courtesy of The Great Fanfiction Wizard.

#11: Do not yell ghost and call the Ghostbusters.

_(It was funny and Rob was _mad_.)_

Courtesy of bloomscool

#12: No singing Cyborg's theme song.

_(I was thrown out a window because of it.)_

#13: No flirting with Starfire.

_(Robin threw me out a window for it.)_

#14: No flirting with Raven.

_(I still remember the pain I felt when _BB_ threw me out a window.)_

#15: No flirting with Bumble Bee.

_(I was all like "what's your obsession with throwing me out windows?" And Cy was all like "don't flirt with my girlfriend.)_

#16: Don't break into Jinx's room.

_(I beg you not to. Had a nasty hex blast to the face.)_


	3. 17-21

These are all from TheDCuniversechick:

#17: Please, if in an attempt to take Speedy's comb for 'payback', do not drag Bumble Bee into it.

_(We're looking at you, Aqualad!)_

#18: Bumble Bee does not enjoy the terms 'Honey Bee' or 'Bee-itch'. Please do not address her as such.

_(I didn't call her that last one, Speedy did. We both got thrown out the window.)_

#19: Same goes for Raven and the term 'Rae'.

_(Yeah, it's a funny story, really. Got thrown out the window for the sixth time.)_

#20: We understand that you eat a lot, Kid Flash. However, that does not give you the right to not show up to missions because you were having lunch.

_(I was hungry from the mission we had the day before. I needed energy.)_

#21: Some of the Titans have bad pasts with the Justice League. It would be appreciated if this didn't come up in conversation.

_(I got to throw someone out the window that time.)_


	4. 22-25

**First I'd like to give a shout-out to Dj daughter of Percabeth. Thanks Dj! Anyways, on with the show.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Teen Titans, but I don't. **

* * *

This is from ThisIsWhereTheNameGoes

#22: Don't ask Starfire if that Japanese boy was a good kisser in front of Robin.

_(I still have bruises)_

These are from Nightshade08

#23: As of now, throwing people out of windows is no longer allowed without a proper reason.

_(Thank you Starfire!)_

#24: Beast Boy, we all respect you don't eat meat. That does not mean, however, that we want to eat your tofu. So stop asking.

_(Tofu is the only thing I will not eat.)_

#25: No one except Starfire is allowed to take care of Silkie.

_(And I totally respect that.)_


	5. 26-41

**Disclaimer: In the first chapter**

* * *

This is from BlueWarrior2.0

#26: Do not and I repeat DO NOT dress as Trigon in the middle of the night to scare Raven for a good laugh.

_(I had no idea my legs could bend that way.)_

These are from TheDCuniversechick

#27: No matter how obsessed with Harry Potter you are, do not go around screaming POOF and throwing Beast Boy at people.

_(I'm not obsessed!)_

#28: After last time, Please no making "Good" videos of Jinx to send to the Flash, trying to convince him that's she's turned over a new leaf. He already knows. I mean, she saved a hedgehog.

_(I told them not to.)_

#29: Kid flash is a Speedster, not a Taxi service. No asking him to take you anywhere for fun. Even if he agrees.

_(Yeah, BB. I'm not your personal taxi.)_

#30: It would greatly improve your health if you Didn't put on a batman costume and run around, as well as you didn't pester Robin to take you to the bat-cave.

_(Again, I tried to warn them.)_

#31: We understand that you think Green Arrow is an idiot, we all do, but please do not take Speedy's "Arrow" communicator to call him and tell him so.

_(It was Speedy's idea.)_

#32: Yes, Robin and Starfire are dating. No you may not tell Batman.

_(I didn't know.)_

#33: Kid Flash, Mas and Menos look up to you. Give them a reason to.

_(I do that.)_

#34: No punch at Titan Partys. Last time someone (Speedy) spiked it with kids around.

_(Those kids' parents hate us now.)_

#35: The evidence room is the Evidence room not the Bat-cave.

_(I told BB not to call it that.)_

#36: If Robin is in the Bat- Evidence room, he most likely does not want to play football.

_(He needs to take a break and have fun!)_

#37: If he does want to play football, he is not charlie brown. Do not take the ball away before he kicks it.

_(Even though I was put on kitchen duty, it was worth seeing the look in his face!)_

#38: Do not encourage fangirls. Period.

_(It's not my fault the ladies love me.)_

#39: Robin has recently told the Titans his identity. It does not help if when Batman calls to identify him as "Oh. My. God! Your Bruce Wayne! THE Bruce Wayne! Squee!"

_(We're looking at you, Beast Boy and Cyborg.)_

#40: The Flash does vist his nephew. Get over it.

_(Who knew half the Titans were fan girls?)_

#41: Green Arrow did vist Speedy. Oliver may or may not have mistaken Bee as his Girlfriend. Bee may or may not of beat him up. You do not speak of it.

_(And I respect this rule.)_


	6. 42-48

These are from random dude2

42) No stank ball in the living room

_(Last time the "ball" flew into something starfire was making... and she didn't even stop.)_

43) No pranks that could result in injury.

_(BeastBoy)_

44) No using the distress signal in non-emergency situation.

_(I was bored.)_

45) No prying into people's personal lives.

_(I've never seen BB so mad.)_

46) No going into a Titan's room without permission.

_(No one told me that Raven didn't like people in her room.)_

47) No drinking in public.

_(That was all Speedy.)_

48) NEVER get drunk, we're heros and can be forced into battle at any time.

_(Yeah, Speedy.)_


	7. 49-62

These are from TheDCuniversechick

49) "We'll laugh about it Later" is not a good enough reason to take the T-Submarine unannounced.

_(I think it is.)_

50) Sitting at the helm of the Titan Jet and yelling, "Engage!" gets you nowhere… no matter how funny you think it is.

_(That's not cool.)_

51) Using Cyborg as a GameStation is not advised… Although his virus software is exceptionally advanced… it cannot always stop those bourne on foreign entities… like a video game you are trying to cram into his programming drive. Unless you want him to imagine you are a giant cheeseburger… don't. Even if it is rather amusing…

_(That wasn't me.)_

52) Making Lewd "Fastest Boy Alive" Jokes at the Kid Flash will not be tolerated.

_(I almost strangled BB.)_

53) The correct Battle Cry for the Titans/Teen Titans is:

"TITANS GO!"

*)0(*

The following examples are NOT 'just as good' or acceptable substitutes:

a) THIS. IS. SPARTA! [Especially in conjunction with kicking a Teammate off of the Tower/Down a Well]

b) TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DIE! [You are not a Klingon, get over it.]

c) KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! [Neither are you Captain James T. Kirk]

d) FOR FRODO! [Just…No]

e) YOU… SHALL NOT… PASS! […On some occasions, this is permissible]

f) Oh Pinkie Pie, you are SO Random! [Any and all quotes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic will be taken into consideration…]

g) HEY MACCARENA! [Please try to stay focused…]

h) AFTER ALL THIS TIME?

i) "Always."

j) Any combination of h) and i)

k) Hakuna Matata! [It is NOT a 'Wonderful phrase', no matter what Beast Boy Says, especially if a song and dance routine are involved.]

l) "GRYFFINDOR!" [You are not the goddamned Sorting Hat, get over it. Nor can SLYTHERIN, or RAVENCLAW, be called.]

m) FOR NARNIA! [Your closet does not contain any hidden worlds, you are not secretly a King/Queen, so please refrain from calling this out in a battle situation.]

n) WHAT THE HELL IS A HUFFLEPUFF? [Yes, we've all seen it…it was funny the FIRST ten times, not anymore.]

o) NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH! [Acceptable…. Please substitute, 'Daughter' with 'Teammate']

p) Why is the Rum gone? [Especially if not in conjunction with either walking away dazedly, or attempting to rope sea turtles together with your own chest hair… the Atlanteans take a dim view on that sort of animal cruelty.]

q) "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" [NO. Please refrain from the 'Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, Wiggle, Yeah!' Part, doubly so if your costume involves a speedo.]

r) Any Part of the Green Lantern's Oath. They don't like it when people joke about with it… and it takes ages to scrape hero bits off the pavement, ceiling and generally everywhere else, after you're hit repeatedly with a giant green Mallet.

s) WEASLEY IS OUR KING! [Permissable.]

t) The Xena WarCry. Although quite impressive, does tend to deafen your closest teammates. Looking at you, Troia.

u) All for ONE, and One For All! [NO. You are NOT a Musketeer…]

v) IT'S A DOUBLE RAINBOW! [And if you can't help yourself, please do not cry or attempt to find meaning in it.]

w) "LET'S PARTY ROCK!"

x) Any song from Disney. No seriously, we can't take it anymore…

y) WE ARE ST. TRINIAN'S! [The Titans dislike having to deal with Villains who have wet their pants upon hearing such a WarCry… *The More You Know*]

z) ALLONSEY! [No…just, no. At least four people in the Tower would find it Blasphemous and you would die a horrific, excruciating death…]

_(Robin's face was priceless.)_

54) There is no such thing as the "Teen Titan Initiation Ceremony", despite what Beast Boy might say… If he comes towards you with any of the following, please run for the nearest SANE Titans member.

a) A Rubber Chicken

b) Any form of Corset

c) Whipped Cream, especially in Pie form.

d) A Camera.

e) Fangirls…or worse, FanBOYS.

f) More than one unidentifiable object…

In fact… if you see him come towards you smiling… just Run. Fast.

_(I'll keep that in mind...)_

55) Asking Wonder Girl is she is wearing a "Wonder Bra" will most certainly get you killed, maimed or otherwise disabled. And if anything remains of you, it will be punished.

_(I didn't say anything.)_

56) Referring to Raven's Demon form as 'PMS-Mode' will most likely get you thrown into another dimension… or murdered. Either way, none of us will save you.

_(That's what she was acting like.)_

57) If, at any point, you enter the Tower to find it dark, abandoned and creepy music playing… it's either a surprise party… or you're Doomed. Either way, don't call out, "Hello…? Is Anybody in Here…?" because I can assure you, if it is indeed a serial killer/Slade, he sure as hell isn't going to answer you with, "I'm in the Kitchen…want a Sandwich?"

_(I was kidding.)_

58) Just because the bad guy LOOKS down for the count/dead… does not mean you should do any of the following:

a) Prod them with your foot/a stick

b) Shake them with your hand

c) Attempt to get a picture of yourself with them, in any position –compromising or otherwise.

d) Kiss them… Yes, Beast Boy, we all know Poison Ivy had you hooked on something, but it was still hilarious. For anyone who wants a copy of the photo… come and see me.

e) Use the phrase, "I wonder what they taste like with Gravy…" because, really, that's just creepy…

f) Anything involving costumes, make up or duct tape.

g) Anything that will come back to haunt you when next you face them… because they will get revenge.

_(It's funny.)_

59) If Speedy asks for help pranking Bee, kindly keep your offer to yourself.

_(Keeping that in mind.)_

60) You will not run around smacking Silkie with a blow up mallet. Starfire does not like people who smack Silkie with a blow up mallet.

_(I didn't do it, I swear.)_

61) No running inside (this means you, Kid Flash!).

_(How do I train?) _

62) If something gets through Cyborg's security, START PANICKING IMMEDIATELY!

_(I was eating! I can't panic and eat at the same time.)_


	8. 63-65

These are from Dj daughter of Percabeth

63\. NEVER try to mock Star. We don't care how funny she may sound. She can't help it and you will die a horrible, painful death by Robin.

_(I didn't do anything.)_

64\. Don't ask Robin if he owns Dick's Sporting Goods and if they sell balls there. It was funny the first time, but now it's just obnoxious.

_(I told BB not to say it. He got thrown out a window.)_

65\. Do NOT, under any circumstances, play Mario Kart with the other Titans. Friendships will be lost.

_(It's true.)_


	9. 66-90

These are from TheDCuniversechick

66\. No dying anyone's clothes for whatever reason - especially if that reason is pranking. Robin wasn't pleased when he woke up to find all of his uniforms pink - including the one he was wearing.

_(It was pretty funny.)_

67\. Do not stare at the T-Car.

_(But it's cool.)_

68\. Beast Boy's not allowed to be given catnip anymore. He remembers everything afterwards and the retaliation pranks just aren't worth it.

_(I still have blackmail.)_

69\. Singing the Batman version of Jingle Bells will earn you either a night on the roof or five hours running the obstacle course. No questions asked.

_(And I don't ask.)_

70\. Continue to stare at the T-Car.

_(I just took a pic.)_

71\. Switching Raven's tea with coffee is not acceptable.

_(Never again... I still a singe mark on my back.)_

72\. We live on an island. The delivery guy doesn't have a boat to get across the bay. If you want pizza, GO TO THE SHORE AND GET IT YOURSELF.

_(I wanna save my energy.)_

73\. Starfire and Beast Boy are not to be trusted alone with Pixie Sticks.

_(Ok, I'm down with that.)_

74\. Stop staring at the T-car and get the hell out of the garage immediately.

_(Ok, ok. Sheesh.)_

75\. Calling Robin nicknames such as Bird Boy and Robbie-Poo is just plain mean. Call him Boy Blunder instead.

_(It's a win-win situation.)_

76\. Unless you wished to be pranked, don't use the microwave in Cyborg's chest while he's sleeping.

_(It was nighttime and I was hungry.)_

77\. Likewise, don't use the toaster in Cyborg's uh... You know what I mean.

_(I was _hungry_.)_

78\. Do not replace Robin's hair gel with honey.

_(It was a good prank.)_

79\. Do not replace Raven's books with magazines.

_(That was also funny.)_

80\. Do not replace Starfire's mustard with ketchup.

_(I didn't do it that time.)_

81\. Do not replace Cyborg's meat with tofu.

_(That was BB.)_

82\. Do not replace Beast Boy's tofu with meat.

_(That was Cy.)_

83\. Never EVER disturb Raven when she's meditating unless it's an absolute emergency.

_(I almost died.)_

84\. Following the previous rule, never EVER go into Raven's room without her permission. Consequences for this may be much more severe than for singing Batman Jingle Bells.

_(It's true.)_

85\. For the sake of your health, DO NOT consume Starfire's alien cooking. Last time someone did, they had food poisoning for a week.

_(Ironically, the person who got food poisoning was Robin.)_

86\. Robin is the leader and therefore is the only one able to say Titans GO! during battles and unless he is absent or the circumstances are apart from normal ones, no one else is allowed to say it.

_(That's not fair!)_

87\. Any pranks involving the T-Car are strictly forbidden. Period.

_(It was BB's idea.)_

88\. It is not recommended to try and take Robin's mask off while he's asleep. His room is booby-trapped.

_(I warned them.)_

89\. Blowing up electronics for no reason is not acceptable. I don't think Mr. Wayne is happy when he keeps having to replace various electronics throughout the week.

_(I swear I thought he was gonna bat-glare us to death.)_

And last but not least...

90\. The theme song (by Puffy Ami Yumi) is never to be played in ANY part of the Tower. Period. No exceptions.

_(Not even in my room? That's bunk.)_


	10. 99-103

These are from Dj daughter of Percabeth

91\. Don't give Mas or Menos a cell phone. You won't make any progress in teaching them English.

_(That was all BB.)_

92\. No Titans should sing in the shower. There is a reason there is no superhero choir.

_(I agree.)_

93\. Don't steal anything from the Evidence Room. You won't get far.

_(It's true, I tried.)_

94\. Don't make Kid Flash dress up as a rabbit and ask him to race a tortoise. It's weird.

_(It is weird.)_

95\. Raven is the child of a powerful demon. Don't ask her if she watches My Little Pony.

_(Well, she does play with them.)_

96\. Any seafood is off limits around Aqualad.

_(That was all Speedy.)_

97\. Don't try to steal Speedy's arrows.

_(I didn't do it.)_

98\. When Bumblebee seems like she's on her time, DON'T ASK IF SHE IS. Maybe she's just mad you guys pranked her.

_(Speedy asked that.)_

99\. Don't tell Star there is a second Christmas so you can get more presents. I'm looking at you Beastboy.

_(Yeah _Beast Boy_.)_

100\. Don't bring a Starfire fanboy to the Tower to meet her. Robin will kill him, and that's bad for your reputation.

_(I watched it happen.)_

101\. Never ask Robin if Star was a good kisser back in Tokyo. His face will go redder than Kid Flash's hair and he'll most likely hit you with his staff.

_(It's true, he will.)_

102\. FROZEN IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE TOWER. BB and Cyborg are constantly screaming "LET IT GOOOOO!"

_(I hate when people ruin songs.)_

103\. Don't say "BOOYAH!" It's Cyborg's thing, not yours.

_(I want a thing, too.)_


	11. 104-110

These are from Nightshade08

104\. We get it. It's mahogany!

_(I still don't get it.)_

105\. Don't make fun of Robin's past designs of wearing shorts and looking like an overgrown boy scout. He didn't like it the first time. Unless you want another trip to the emergency room or thrown out the window... Beast Boy.

_(Ooo, Beast Boy.)_

106\. Quit asking Hawk if he knows Katniss.

_(He probably does.)_

107\. PLEASE don't ask Starfire to sing!

_(It's awful.)_

108\. Don't chase Beast Boy around with a pokeball shouting "Got to catch'em all!"

_(But it's fitting.)_

109\. Does the bat- evidence room look like a toy room? Don't get me started on using the puppet dolls for your own puppet show.

_(Just get rid of the puppets.)_

110\. No we cant hire a maid. No Alfred can't come live with us.

_(Awww.)_


	12. 111-115

This is from a guest.

111) Never call Raven sweetheart.

_(I didn't know.)_

These are from Nightshade08

112) Probably not a good idea to insult Raven's favorite music.

_(It really isn't worth it.)_

113) Don't put glue on the toilet seat for shits and giggles. Robin was really not amused.

_(No he wasn't.)_

114) Never let Raven cook breakfast.

_(I don't know how Starfire can eat that.)_

115) If Kid Flash is running, don't trip him with a stick or your foot in order to stop him. Even if it is tempting.

_(Someone tripped me while I was running on concrete.)_


	13. 116-126

These are from Dj daughter of Percabeth

116\. Don't give Star a cell phone. She will either:

A.) Crush it on accident.

B.) Blast it to bits

C.) Give it back to Cyborg.

D.) Constantly call or text you into oblivion.

_(She actually did D and C in that order.)_

117\. Don't ask Star who was the better kisser: the Japanese guy or Robin.

_(I didn't do this.)_

118\. No Yaoi. No exceptions. Period.

_(I learned my lesson.)_

119\. Don't ask Raven if she wants to build a build a snowman. News flash! She doesn't.

_(I was just _kidding_.) _

120\. No Titan without the ability to fly should jump off the Tower screaming: I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYY!"

_(I thought it would work.)_

121\. If any girl Titan is glaring at you... RUN LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE. Which you probably are.

_(If looks could kill, me, BB, and Speedy would be dead.)_

122\. Puppet King is not your personal puppet.

_(He can't even _do _anything!)_

123\. Control Freak's Remote should never be used.

_(I thought it was the TV remote.)_

124\. Any attempts for to get into Raven's room is not allowed. Not because it's a rule, but because we worry for your safety and your sanity.

_(I don't wanna die, so I'm gonna listen to this.)_

125\. Don't give Star a laptop and ask her to look up RobStar lemons. Not only will Robin kill you, Cy, BB, Raven, some others, and the fangirls will kill you.

_(I was not a part of this.)_

126\. Cosplaying as each other is weird.

_(I walked into a room full of Kid Flashes. I was not amused.)_


	14. 127-145

These are from Dj daughter of Percabeth

127\. Don't read Star's diary.

_(I won't.)_

128\. Seriously... Back away from it. Now.

_(I am.)_

129\. Don't give BB a DS with any Pokemon game. We don't need him to get obsessed with another video game.

_(He's the one whole stole my DS.)_

130\. No ruining Mas and Meno's innocence. Or Star's for that matter.

_(It's all Speedy's fault.)_

131\. There is a reason Star's diary has the 'Do Not Read' sticker on it.

_(We know.)_

132\. Aqualad should not be fangirled over in front of the other male Titans.

_(Yeah, girls.)_

133\. No making Terra jokes. Period.

_(I wasn't there, so I don't know.)_

134\. No daring Mas and Menos to race Kid Flash to see who is fastest.

_(We all know I'm gonna win.)_

135\. Watching the abomination that is Teen a Titans Go! is not allowed.

_(It's torture.)_

136\. No Yuri. Period. No exceptions.

_(It's also torture.)_

137\. Explosions should not be giving to BB or Mas and Menos.

_(I got blown up.)_

138\. No challenging Speedy to an archery contest. You'll lose.

_(I did lose.)_

139\. No adding lots of sugar to Raven's tea, then proceeding to make her ticked off.

_(I hid in my room. They had to coax me out with food.)_

140\. Communicators are for talking to people that are not in your range of sight, hearing, and range of talking. No using your communicator to talk to someone 10 feet away.

_(But it's better.)_

141\. If a Titan is sick, they shouldn't expect all the other Titans to wait on them hand and foot.

_(I was sick. And I had a fever.)_

142\. BB should not be allowed to eat a ton of sugar.

_(I thought we went over this.)_

143\. Nobody is allowed to yell "HULK SMASH!" when they are angry. If you wanted to say that, you should have been a Marvel character.

_(I will never be a Marvel character.)_

144\. No altering reality.

_(Not my fault.)_

145\. No using Raven's spell book to gender-bend the other Titans.

_(It feels weird anyway.)_


	15. 146-160

These are from TheDCuniversechick

146) If you're going to use the Titan Car, tell someone… or Cyborg will have a heart-attack. No seriously, it's happened before.

_(It has.)_

147) Casually asking Raven if she can use her Soul Self to transport you to school, home, a friend's, the movies, etc… if generally frowned upon.

_(I've never done this.)_

148) Just because Beast Boy says it's a Good Idea… does not necessarily MAKE it a Good Idea. In fact, do not listen to anything he tells you to do in a non-battle situation, it's most likely something that will get you in trouble.

_(It did.)_

149) If, for some reason you broke the last Rule and followed Beast Boy's direction… remember that you should have your Emergency Titan's Communicator [ETC] on you at all times… Press the big Red Button. We'll come and get you… eventually. Oh, and if the French are involved… please try not to start an international incident…

_(It wasn't my fault.)_

150) Accidents happen. Yes, sometimes in battle, costumes do rip in unfortunate places… most noticeably for the female Titans, please try to remember you are SUPPOSED to be mature enough to handle situations like this. Hooting, Wolf-Whistling or asking if they need any 'help'…in a lewd manner… is prohibited. Even if they ask.

_(Fine...)_

151) The use of Banjos in Titans Tower… is strictly forbidden. Seriously, just NO.

_(I hate banjos now!)_

152) The same goes for Bagpipes… You can thank Beast Boy for that.

_(It was so annoying!)_

153) Prank Calling the Justice League on the Watchtower is NOT a Good Idea, trust us… Voice of Experience speaking. We have tried them all before… and yes, the Watchtower fridge is running, but no, Superman is not interested in catching it.

_(But it's funny!)_

154) If, by any chance, a strange unmarked package appears inexplicably at the Tower… don't open it! At no point in Titan history has that EVER worked out well for us… From Evil Pies to Soul-Stealing Puppets, I repeat, it has NEVER worked out well for us…

_(Not my fault.)_

155) Just because there is a pause in conversation, or in a meeting, does not give you the right to start singing, "I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today!" regardless of whether or not it may be true… Likewise, nobody wants to hear "Pink Fluffy Unicorns, Dancing on Rainbows", because it was weird enough when Aqualad fell in love with it…

_(I have no idea what that was even about.)_

156) Please limit fighting to the Training Room, it has been specifically designed for you and your powers… the Kitchen, Bathrooms, Lounge room, Play Rooms, Pool and Bedrooms, however…have not.

_(I didn't start it.)_

157) And whoever is blew up the washing machine, come forwards and confess before we review the surveillance tapes… because if we have to come and find you, it'll be so much worse for you.

_(Stop looking at me! I didn't do it!)_

158) Beast Boy is no longer allowed to purchase or have on his person the following:

a) Lubricants

b) Rope and/or Chain

c) Screws

d) Tie Downs

e) A Garden Hose

f) A Combination of any of the above.

Seriously, we still can't find the last new Titans Initiates… whose disappearances coincided with a certain changeling buying the above mentioned items; we don't know what he did with them, and really…we don't WANT to know. Though we'd rather like them back… But for your own safety, if he's coming your way… RUN.

_(It almost happened to me. There are things you just can't unsee, man!)_

159) Yes, we understand there is Fanfiction out there about us, the Titans, and the individual heroes… and we are doing our damn best to ignore it. Just because you THINK it would be a cute pairing, does not mean you can play matchmaker, EVER.

_(I'm agreeing with this.)_

This is from A random person.

160) Never read BBrea lemons in the OPPs room while Beast Boy and Raven are present.

_(The lights blew up.)_


	16. 161-174

These are from Bluedog197:

161) You may never ever sing you don't know your beautiful to raven

_(the city had no power for a week) _

162) When spring cleaning leave your shoe's at the door

_( if i didn't dodge my head would have been severed "damn bird a rang") _

163) You are not allowed to enter starfire's room with out notice

_(i never knew that a flower could have three eye's and sharp teeth)_

164) Never ever take away cyborgs meat

_(he turned the tower into a meat locker to make up for it)_

165) Don't refuse to take in a stray animal

_( i still have nightmare's and the claws mark's from beast boy)_

166) If you take away the girls chocolate and say you've had too much

_(that day the guys learned where the sun doesn't shine and it ain't pretty) _

This is from bbjhugkyv

167) If you're going to go to the bathroom, Make sure no one is in it before going in.

_(Hey, the door was open!)_

This is from FriendlyCritic

168) Do not ask Robin where the Red X vault is.

_(I... Don't want to talk about it.)_

These are from Green Knight

169) If BB gets drunk, RUN.

_( He reminded me of a mix between the Joker and Scorpion from Mortal Kombat.)_

170) Don't swap Cyborg's meat with tofu.

_( You know who did this.)_

171) Don't talk about Wildfires near Starfire.

_( I didn't know Star had a brother.)_

172) Always make sure the Tower has waffles.

_( I thought BB was going to die when he took the last waffle.)_

173) Don't look through Robin's utility belt.

_( Explosive disks and Beast Boy are not a good combo.)_

This is from The Great Fanfiction Wizard

174) No convincing Starfire that it is OK to break any of these rules.

_(She and Robin were so mad)_


	17. 175-181

This is from bbjhugkyv

175: Be careful when you play those Truth or Dare games with the Titans. Some of them *cough* Raven!* cough*get kind of touchy about those crush Questions.

( I didn't Know she had a crush on BB! )

176: When playing hide and seek, NEVER go in ravens room.

( Hey! A: the door was open B: no one goes in there! I had a valid point! Robin: that's for a reason. Even BB Knows better Than that.)

177: If you are dumb enough to hide in Ravens room, DO NOT BREAK ANYTHING!

(even if you are the fastest boy alive, that girl can catch anyone when she's mad. But really that bookcase just fell over by itself.)

178: Do not ask about anyone's secret identity.

( NnnaAUggggG...)

179: if you pull a prank on any of the Titans, (which I would highly recommend not doing,) DO NOT pull it on Raven.

(Being thrown through a portal is worse than a window!)

180: if you want to draw a portrait of someone , you'd better be good at drawing.

( I learned how painful sonic cannons, explosive disks, bears and Ravens powers are. although Starfire liked hers until Silkie ate it.)

This is from a guest.

181\. No pushing other Titans off the roof and saying it was an accident

(SPEEDY THIS MEANS YOU)


	18. 182-185

These are from a Fan:

182) Don't tell Starfire about Robin's crush on her.

(Even though she didn't get it, Robin still threw me out the window.)  
(Glass hurts.)  
(The ground is hard.)

183) Don't ask BB to transform into any fictional creature.  
(There is now a picture on the internet of a light green Jabberwocky.)

184) Do not show the Teen Titans Go! TV show to the Titans.  
(First, they got creeped out, thinking cameras were following them, and they were jumpy the whole week, even Raven.)  
(BEST! WEEK! EVER! Albeit, I did get thrown out a window at least 3 times a day.)  
(We are becoming regulars at the window repair shop.)

This is from The Great Fanfiction Wizard:

185) Never let Red X in the Tower.

(I had to pay for the window I was thrown through and I didn't know Raven could turn that red.)


	19. 186-197

These are from SilverShadow8282:

186\. Never prank BB and tell him Terra is back  
(I now know being thrown out a window by a bear hurts more the being thrown out a window normally)

187\. Never tell any Titan their costume is overrated.  
(A trip to the Emergency room is in your future)

188\. Don't try to learn Tamaran from Starfire  
(That's the hardest language ever)

189\. Do not ask Starfire, Robin, Raven, or BB to see a family picture.  
(I've never seen so many tears)

190\. Don't ask Jinx if she has a crush on Cyborg/Stone in front of Kid Flash  
(Being punched super fast hurts more then being punched normally)

These are adventure time idiota1:

191\. Never mention Raven and Beast boys relationship out loud

(Duly noted)

192\. Never mention Ravens Harry Potter obsession out loud  
(Be proud Rae Rae be proud)

193\. Basically never mention Ravens likes and dislikes out loud  
(I wonder what would happen if I dressed Beast boy up like Draco?)

194\. No one saves Jinx but me  
(I know its hypocritical but seriously... don't. She's mine. Don't)

195\. No duct tape related pranks on anyone except Speedy  
(I'm surprised people agreed with me)

196\. Remember, Mas y Menos, Raven, Jinx, kole and Jericho are still underaged.  
(yeah like that'll stop them)

197\. No one is Harry freaking Potter  
(Was instated due to Raven and Jinx breaking the rule above)


	20. 198-200

These are from Floracat:

198\. Although Mas y Menos can't speak English, they can still understand it, so don't tell dirty jokes in front of them like they're not there.

(C'mon Bee! They didn't get the joke anyway!)

199\. If Mas y Menos ask the 'where do babies come from' question due to a dirty joke, the teller of said joke *cough*Speedy*cough* is responsible for telling them.

(No fair!)

200\. On second thought, no dirty jokes at all. This is a kids show.

(You're no fun.)


	21. 201-235

These are from Shadystar:

*No trying to sneak a peek of any of girls while they are in the bathroom or otherwise disrobing  
(One time...)

*No breaking out in random song &amp; dance and expecting everyone to dance back up  
(How was I supposed to know you're all uncoordinated off the battleground)

*No flirting with fangirls  
(I'm still on probation with Jinx because of this)

*No flirting with fanboys  
(Robin insisted on this one)

*No using the T-communicator to try to contact civilians  
(I was alone and wanted pizza, how was I supposed to know you had a landline)

*No making fun of Robin or Speedy for not having super powers  
(They may not have superpowers, but they can still pack a punch)

*No comparing Robin and Speedy, or mistaking one for the other  
(Not my fault they look similar)

*No mocking Spanish when talking to Mas Y Menos  
(I didn't know they understand English)

*No walking around the tower nude or in your underwear  
(I thought everyone was out, how was I supposed to know Raven was just meditating in her room)

*No sneaking into the room, of anyone whose the opposite sex, in the middle of the night  
(I thought Jinx was staying Raven's room)

*No writing erotic 'friend fictions' about the other titans  
(But my fans loved it)

* (referring back to rule #159) If you do write a [non-erotic] friend fiction about the other titans, don't mix up the couples and post it online  
(Robin was mad when I paired Starfire with Beast Boy)

*If you follow fan fictions, don't bring it to our attention if you come across lemons that pair us with someone aren't with or a person of the same sex  
(Starfire still accuses Robin of cheating on her with Red X)

*Never use Raven's Mirror to go into her mind to flirt with her other selves  
(I tried to warn Beast Boy)

*You never know who may be watching. Call everyone by their superhero persona, avoid calling any of the titans by their birth names or otherwise revealing their secret identities  
(Lighten up, Dick)

*No trying to learn a new language to get Starfire to kiss you  
(I just wanted to see if it really works. Robin and Jinx still won't let that one go)

*No using your powers to participate in competitions against civilians.  
(Hey, I raised a lot of money for charity that way)

*No singing or humming the Batman theme song  
(Hey, it's a catchy tune... Na-Na Na-Na Na-Na Na-Na Batman!)

*No asking Robin if he's ever dated or had a crush on Batgirl  
(Starbolts really do hurt)

*No asking Aqualad if he's ever had a crush on The Little Mermaid  
(I thought it was funny)

*No asking Aqualad if he's ever dated a mermaid  
(It turns out he did, but it didn't end well)

*Never directly ask Starfire about her culture  
(I'm still recovering from the 6 hour lecture about the great war between the Portkins and Flarnops)

*No trying to use nonsensical words to mimic Tamaranian when talking to Starfire  
(I didn't know "G'lishkina" was an offensive term)

*No attempting to sing the Teen Titans theme song in Japanese  
(Apparently misspoken Japanese can be misinterpreted as more offensive terms; Why did Star have to kiss that guy in Japan!)

*Remember that if Jinx is on your team when playing a game, or even if she is just rooting for you in video games, never say that she "Jinxed" you if you lost.  
(I warned Beast Boy. He still has poor depth perception in his left eye)

*No asking Cyborg to do the robot  
(He doesn't like stereotypes)

**No calling Cyborg "Sparky"  
(That means you, Bumblebee)

*Just like rule #52, don't make drug jokes [or even lewd jokes] about Speedy's name  
(I didn't know!)

*No asking any member of the Titans, that you are not romantically involved with, if they are virgins.  
(The girls especially didn't appreciate this question)

*No asking male Titans to go out and buy "Feminine products"  
(All the guys insisted on this)

*No stealing underwear  
(Beast Boy's still in the dog house after he got caught with Raven's bra under his pillow)

*No more than 5 minutes in the bathroom to work on your hair  
(Seriously, Speedy and Robin!)

*Only Robin has the authority to make someone an 'Honorary Titan'  
(Who knew a guy in a pink tutu wearing a duck costume would turn out to be a bad guy)

*No making out in the common area  
(Seriously Robin and Starfire, control your hormones!)

This is from bbraeluver22:

No matter how fast you can run do NOT force Raven and Beast Boy into a compromising position.

(I still have nightmares.)


	22. 236-237

This is from ThisIsWhereTheNameGoes:

236) Raven's stint as the face of that Japanese chewing gum is an off-limits topic.  
(How was I supposed to know she was embarrassed by that? I would love to endorse gum!)

This is from Soundwave:

237) No calling Thunder and Lightning any of the following:  
Ornstein and Smough  
Snorlax and Pikachu  
Fatty and Slim  
( Damn they pack a punch)


	23. 238-240

These are from adventure time idiota:

238) If the HIVE five attack, don't bring Jinx or leave her alone.  
(I'll never let them hurt you again babe)

239) Don't call Jinx babe.  
(Um oooooooowwwwww)

240) Don't call Robin babe.  
(Jinx hurt more)


	24. 241-271

This is from Dis-Appearing Writer:

241: Never let Cyborg throw out all of Beast Boy's tofu

(It's been five months and I can still taste the tofu)

These are from Shadystar:

242: If Raven is meditating or looks like she is about to lose control of her emotions, do NOT taunt her by singing "Let it go".

(Apparently it's not good for her to let her emotions go)

243: Do not claim that "Let it go" Raven's theme song

(Though I personally think the song fits her perfectly)

244: Do not compare Raven or Jinx to Elsa or any other Disney sorceress

(Apparently they're not a big Disney fans, figures)

245: Never bring up Jinx's past as a villainess.

(She's not evil anymore, just deal with it!)

246: Don't worry if Raven seems grumpy or upset, worry if she seems too calm.

(learned that the hard way)

247: Do not let Raven or Jinx know that you know they secretly watch 'My Little Pony'.

(Trust me, it's not worth it!)

248: Do not let Jinx know that everyone knows about her unicorn obsession.

(And especially don't let her know that I was the one who told you)

249: Do not ask beast boy to change into any animal for your own personal amusement.

(He will turn into a lion {or something worse} and hunt you down!)

250: Do not ask Beast Boy to morph into a unicorn, a dragon, a griffin, or any other mythical creature

(Sorry Jinx and Raven, but he claims he can only shift into real animals, not mythical creatures)

251: Just because he is green and can turn into a sasquatch, does not mean you can ask Beast Boy to dress up like the Grinch for the annual Christmas party at the Children's Hospital.

(Wait, I thought he said he couldn't turn into a mythical creature?)

252: Never bring up parents, orphans, or orphanages.

(It's a very touchy subject for pretty much the whole group)

253: Never enter a Halloween, comic con, Fanime, or any other type of costume contest dressed as yourself.

(It's embarrassing to lose to a fan dressed like you).

254: Never let Larry fix anything.

(The universe will thank you)

255: Never tell the joke: "I'm not saying I'm Batman, but have you ever seen us in the same room?"

(Robin will call your bluff)

256: Make sure the tower always has the following items in stock: waffles, at least 3 types of meat, tofu, herbal tea, hair gel, zorkaberries, mustard, tacos, honey, salt water taffy, and sea salt.

(Or things will get ugly).

257: When replacing the toilet paper roll: always have it hanging over, not under.

(This actually required an election, over just barely won 7 to 6.)

258: Never let any of the girls cook holiday meals (or ever if you can)

(This was pretty much a unanimous decision, except for Starfire who insists on cooking for her home planet's holidays)

259: Never change into a rooster to wake everyone up at sunrise

(That means you, Beast Boy!)

260: Never ask Robin where we get the money for all our gadgets.

(He will only say it's from a 'private donor')

261: Never try to convince another Titan that your childhood was more traumatic than theirs.

(Lets just agree that pretty much most of our pasts sucked in one way or another)

These are from DarkNerdGirl:

262: No attempting to play the flute if you are NOT a musician.

(My ears may never be the same)

263: No photoshopping pictures so that Starfire is kissing Red X.

(Um... No. Sorry, but no.)

264: No calling the villain your fighting with a molester because he/she has touched you.

(*cough* Beast Boy *cough*)

265: No going to the prison to laugh at the villains in jail.

(Raven is weird... Wait, don't tell her I said that!)

266: No flirting with Jinx... Kid Flash will destroy you. Yeah, just don't do it.

(I won't destroy you, just crush your soul and watch it burn in he depths of hell.)

267: No showing Starfire what porn is. She locked herself up in her room and wouldn't come out until about a month.

(In my defense, it was funny. Getting thrown out the window by Robin wasn't as funny.)

268: No giving Raven a therapist. You and the therapist may never see daylight again.

(Remind me to NEVER do that. Ever,)

269: Do NOT, I repeat NOT, EVER give Raven a dead raven as a prank. You will be tortured beyond insanity.

(Um... *backs away slowly*)

270: Pretending to be Superman is not amusing.

(Don't look at me! It was Speedy.)

271: Do not ask Cyborg if his balls are mechanical or human.

(I never asked. It would be too... Weird.)


	25. 272-273

These are from Dis-Appearing Writer:

272) Never let fanboys tell the Heros that they're not good enough for their girlfriends

(The guys will be depressed and the girls will be arrested for murder/torture/assault or you will be destroyed)

273) Don't ask out Raven in front of Beast Boy

(You will be mauled to death and than the rest of us will have to watch them try and swallow each other's tonsils-get a room!)


	26. 274-276

These are from TheDCuniversechick:

Rule #274:

Asking Aqualad if he would 'like some Fish and Chips' really isn't as funny as you think it is. Stop it.

(It was a real question; I was gonna run to England and was just asking!)

)0(

Rule #275:

Never make 'Yo Mama' Jokes around Nightwing… he will kill you…

(I have learnt this the hard way…)

Rule #276:

The use of Fire Extinguishers as back-up Water Guns is hereby prohibited… pending an investigation of exactly how someone plastered Aqualad to the ceiling, and how they managed to flush the other one in the Tower.

(I…would also like to know. Seriously, whoever did it was a legend.)


	27. 277-278

This is from a guest:

Rule 277: Never eat any of the following around Aqualad: Fish tacos, grilled,smoked,or any type of cooked fish,and seafood.  
(Just because dolphins and whales look friendly doesn't mean they are. I still have the memories!)

This is from The Great Fanfiction Wizard:

Never let a villain in the Tower.  
(How was I supposed to know that Control Freak had a MEGA huge crush on Starfire?)


	28. 279-294

These are from bbraeluver22:

279: Never bring up that Beast boy will go bald someday.

(I didn't know.)

280: definitely don't say his hairline is receding he will freak out

(Again, I didn't know.)

These are from TheBlueWarrior:

281: Never EVER read Raven/Robin fanfiction to anybody, I mean anybody!  
(I always thought those two would end up together, by 200 broken bones says other wise.)

282: Inviting a Rob/Star fan and Rob/Rae fan together is not a good idea.  
(And expensive.)

283: DO NOT take Starfire to a 3-D movie.  
(Thanks Robin for getting us banned from the movie theater.)

284: FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY, NEVER EVER CUT OFF STARFIRE'S HAIR UNLESS YOUR TIRED OF LIVING!  
(At least we learned how to treat 3rd degree burns.)

285: DO NOT attempt to tickle Raven just to make her laugh.  
(What's green, black, blue, and incredibly broken?)

286: Don't call Robin a traffic light because he will attack you with a traffic light.  
(Those things hurt)

287: Marvel Movies are banned from the tower.  
(Unless you want to hear Beast Boy complain about not having a Justice League movie.)

288: Do not talk to Superman about the ending of Man of Steel.  
(And he is in fact made of very painful steel.)

289: Never tell the titans to "Split up and look for clues."  
(I'm sorry Robin, I didn't know it was copy righted.)

290: Do not talk about the final episode of How I met your mother. Robin will go beserk.  
(Jeez man let it go.)

291: Robin can no longer watch Netflix.  
(He's got a binge watching problem.)

292: When ever Raven and Robin go out together ITS NOT A DATE! So stop saying it is!  
(I'm just joking BB and Star.)

This is from force200:

293: NEVER EVER break the fourth Wall. You're not Deadpool!  
(Who the hell is Deadpool?)

This is from Artemis Raven Courtney:

294: NEVER talk about Kitten in front of Starfire. She will hurt you.


	29. 295-298

These are from Anna daughter of Percabeth:

295: Never read, under NO CIRCUMSTANCES, Beast Boy/Aqualad fanfiction. Ever.  
(Half the town blew up because Raven was laughing so hard. And then I blew up. Who knew Beast Boy had explosives in his room?)

296: Don't give Beast Boy explosives. Please.  
(Please.)

These are from Artemis Raven Courtney:

297: Do not mention the following people to Beast Boy:

A) Adonis

KF: I got attacked by the Beast AND thrown out the window.

B) Malchior

KF: Raven, threw me in a portal, then BB threw me out of the window as a gorilla when I got back.

298: Asking Robin if you can borrow his money because he's Dick Grayson is just suicidal. He has to pay for maintenance of the tower, 5000 bottles of hair gel and Star's shopping.

KF: I just wanted a couple boxes of pizza! At least BB got thrown out a window for this too...


End file.
